I'm alive, I promise...

Well, I have had so many awesome ideas for posts on this blog, but unfortunately...life has been kind of crazy on the personal side, so this blogging thing has had to take a bit of a back seat.

I'll start with the good.

Last week, I got a call from my OB to discuss my labs. I haven't talked about this much yet, mostly because I didn't want any bad energy tied to it...but I've been having some low hemoglobin levels on my labs, aka pretty severe anemia. I have a blood disorder called Beta Thalassemia, which causes my red blood cells to not get enough hemoglobin due to one of my beta genes being defective. This is something I struggled with when I had my son. My levels ended up getting down to 7.5, and they told me at 7.3 they would want to transfuse. They had blood on hold for me while I gave birth, but luckily I never needed it.

Typically for home birth, or really birth in general, we like to see these levels at a 10. I knew I was never going to be a 10...it's just not realistic. And this was one of the first things I discussed with my midwife when I interviewed her. She reminded me that a number is just that...a number. We would do everything to build my blood up and keep me as healthy as possible, but she said that as long as she saw my numbers go up from wherever they were, and not down, she would accept that it was just my normal and we could work with it.

I had my first draw around 18 weeks, and was immediately devastated when my levels came back at 8.7. I was hopeless! 8.7 was so low...no one in the right mind was going to work with me...and I knew I was headed for the hospital. I also knew this was a repeat of what happened with my son and that I was headed into the 7's. My midwives were incredibly patient with me the day I asked them if I was doomed and started talking negatively. They assured me I would be fine, got me on a good supplement regimen and told me success stories of other women who were low and how it was just their normal. They were willing to work with my normal...but they wanted to see the number go up. I guess you could say they weren't convinced this was my normal, given my horrible morning-sickness diet and lack of faith. My midwife would not entertain any more discussion of numbers and told me if I was going to think of numbers then I was to visualize the number going up. This was too much for me...if I did that, I also had nightmares that the number didn't go up.

So in my Kimberly state of mind, I just decided nothing was going to go up. Every two weeks when I saw my midwife I continuously told her "I don't expect great things...I don't expect my number to go up. I just expect it to stay the same, and if I can do that then I will consider myself accomplished." I was doing really well with taking all my blood builders and supplements, and eating a great diet. But then Christmas happened...yeah I don't want to talk about it completely. But in addition to a lot of stress, my diet really plummeted, and then I was expected to go and get my blood drawn? Ugh! I was also super tired, and vented to my assistant midwife that I felt I probably was more anemic because of that. She assured me that I could just be really pregnant, as all really pregnant women get tired. I tried to believe her...but what can I say, I'm not the world's best optimist.

So back to the call from my OB...it went like this:

"Hello Kimberly? This is Dr. V..."
"Hi Dr. V. How are you?"
"I'm good...how are you?"
"I'm good."
"Well your lab results are in..."
"Ok..."
"And your hemoglobin is an 8.9..."
"Did you say 8.9????"
"Yes."
"So it went up?"
"Yes it did. I'm shocked. Your iron studies look great too...so whatever your midwife has you on is working. Keep doing what you're doing."
"Ok! Thank you so much for calling me."
"Also...your white blood cell count was elevated. Did you come down with something since you had your blood drawn?"
"No...I think that's normal for me with the Thalassemia."
"Oh ok"

(Keep that white blood cell thing in mind...I'm getting there)

So I basically bawled my eyes out after this phone call. I texted both my midwives and my mom...I made a crazy post on facebook. I just couldn't believe it...my levels have never gone up in my life. It was only .2, but in the perspective of things I was now only .1 away from a 9...which was ALMOST a 10. It was this moment I realized, I was getting my home birth...my body was capable of more than I knew...I just had to trust it.

For those interested in the supplements I took (who knows, someone reading this may struggle with anemia as well) here is the list. I have no idea which one helped, or if it was the combination of all of them...but I'm grateful!

-Chlorophyll (I mixed this with Young Living's Ningxia red and took it like a shot twice a day)

-Megafood Blood Builder (I took this pill once a day)

-Chlorella (I took 10 tablets twice a day)

-Young Living MultiGreens Supplement (I took 3 tablets once a day)

-Floradix (I took 10 ml once a day)

And now in getting to the white blood cell count...I guess I am an optimist in all the wrong places. This was not normal for me. I ended up coming down with a flu-like virus, which I am still fighting off. The first day was awful...I could barely walk or open my eyes, and my husband thought he was going to have to take me to the hospital because I was not keeping down fluids. It's less scary now, but still not fun, as I have a toddler to raise and a fetus to nourish. But I'm doing my best, and I can't wait to get back on here and write about more interesting birth-related things once I am feeling more well rested.

A Review: Orgasmic Birth

So yesterday, my assistant midwife came over for a very thorough appointment with a much needed pep talk. Lately, I've felt a lot of fears from a lot of what happened with my first birth resurfacing. This is totally normal, and I'm glad they are happening now, rather than in the middle of labor, but I've had to really do a lot of reframing. I've been on the blog Birth Without Fear a whole lot lately. I read a story that really hit home with me, and in the story was the quote "This is not your birth story, this is your baby's birth story...you have to surrender to it." This really, really sits well with me and I say it to myself all the time now. Surrender is a really powerful word in the whole miracle of growing a baby and giving birth. When I mentioned this to my midwife yesterday, she got excited and asked me if I had seen the documentary, Orgasmic birth.

Now upon hearing this, my first instinct was that I wanted to die laughing, and quite frankly, the idea of having an orgasm during birth was a little unsettling to me. I remember when this documentary first came out, I was in college, nowhere near having children...and I was pretty closed minded when it came to this stuff. I remember thinking these women were somehow creepy or perverted. I mean who gets off to giving birth to their child? Birth isn't meant to be pleasurable...it's meant to be painful, right?

Years later, I know the thoughts I had back then were those of simply not understanding and feeling uncomfortable with something that wasn't the norm. My husband and I agreed to watch this together, and I was feeling open minded about it. I mean hey, if birth could feel as pleasurable as an orgasm, I say more power to the women who can do that! My expectations were that this documentary was going to be all about telling women how to achieve this orgasm, and showing how other women do it.

The documentary starts off by talking about how birth is a sexual experience, rather than a medical one. As a society, we tend to over sexualize everything, but with birth, it all goes out the window. We have sex to make a baby, so the idea of using some of the ideals to birth a baby are not far fetched. The main hormone involved in birth is oxytocin. This hormone is also involved in bonding with our babies and breastfeeding, but what a lot of people don't realize is that it is involved in sex and orgasm as well, and is what bonds us to our partner. In this documentary, a lot of the women were giving birth as a partnership. That is, their husbands were just as involved as they were, often times helping them to find which noise worked best through contractions, holding them, caressing them, going on walks, kissing between contractions, dancing in the bedroom with dimmed lights and candles. It was really beautiful, and many of these births yielded very relaxed women who had much quicker births, due to all this increased oxytocin.

One quote that was really memorable to me was a woman who talked about her decision to give birth outside on her deck. She talked about how being outdoors was blissful, and so she wanted her birth to be calm and blissful as well. I giggled a little when she said that the baby she was carrying was most likely conceived outside, so why not be born outside? She mentioned it was painful, but that it was pain with purpose, and that it was beautiful all at once. As she gave birth to her baby, her husband was rubbing her back and helping her through the entire process. It became very clear through this documentary that environment and comfort played a huge role in having a blissful birth.

After showing a few really cool birth stories, this document delves into the elephant in the room: hospitals do not present the best environment or options for having a blissful birth. While it is definitely still possible to have such in the hospital, this documentary touches on the interventions that are against our nature and overused. One fact that really hit home with me was how only 10% of the birthing population really needs any intervention in their birth, but we apply these standards to 100% of birthing women who enter the hospital. Being that I was one of the 10% when I gave birth, I can see the beauty in them, but I also have seen first hand how they are overused and studied a lot of evidence on why it is not beneficial to overuse them. This film does a great job at showing exactly how the cascade of interventions can lead to a horrid outcome, and I think it is something important for all women to see. However, at the same time, the film also stresses that we can't bond too much to our birth plans, because we will never know when that 10% will pop up and we will need them.

Ina May makes an appearance in this documentary, which can always only be a good thing! I love that woman and everything she stands for so much, and will be reviewing her book, Spiritual Midwifery as soon as I finish it.

The film continues to show some more women birthing in these wonderful, natural, beautiful environments and how blissful it is. There are a couple births that show intervention was needed, one was rather scary, but one was actually really beautiful.

I think overall, the message of this film is missed by skeptics, who take the title too literally. I won't lie, but a couple of the births were a little too orgasmic for my taste. If that's how those women can rock it, then more power to them, but I definitely don't want to get too far on the promiscuous side of sexual when I'm giving birth. All in all though, the message behind orgasmic birth is treating birth similar to an orgasm...not EXACTLY like it. One of the mothers said it was learning to deal with the uncomfortable sensations she was feeling, and embracing them with everyone who was around her. Another thing I loved about this film, was that it really emphasized that having supportive people present was important. One thing I was shocked to see was that most of these women giving birth looked just like me when I was giving birth. I never considered my birth to be orgasmic, simply because I did not have an orgasm while delivering my son. But the message is more about surrendering to the sensations of birth and accepting that the contractions can't be stronger than you because they ARE you...and then you will experience bliss...

Those who are shaking their heads no, and saying you definitely don't want to feel anything, there is a segment where one of the CPMs talks about how some women are more comfortable giving birth with an epidural, and that it needs to be an option, however we should not be shoving it down everyone's throats. This isn't one of those natural or bust films...it is simply encouraging women to find happiness in whatever way they choose to birth.

I know people don't view birth the same, but I could not agree more with this message. I truly view my first birth as a partnership between my husband and I. We also had two doulas present who helped us and filled in for my husband when necessary. It is definitely fitting to say that we need different things at different points in labor, and I'm glad I had all three of them for different reasons. At the end of the day when my son came into the world, my husband was just as tired as me. His arms were sore from pushing on my back and it really felt as if we truly worked together to bring this life into the world. It wasn't dirty, or promiscuous...but in a sense, could be categorized under the same umbrella as an orgasm, given the bliss that was felt in that partnership. (I think we need to think of the literal definition of an orgasm when watching this film, and that is that it is a release. There is no release more amazing than the feeling when a baby is finally born from your body! I can see why the term orgasmic was applied) My doulas encouraged this partnership, and it was a really beautiful and spiritual thing, even despite the interventions I'd had and the hospital environment I was in. I want to emphasize that, because women shouldn't feel they are made to have a one size fits all birth just because they are in the hospital.

One thing the film does emphasize and encourage, that I was very thankful for is that we need to share our birth stories.  We need to claim this back as an empowering and positive experience. The evidence supports it, so there are no excuses.

I went into this film thinking women who experienced orgasmic births were a little off, and was left with the lasting impression that I in fact had an orgasmic birth, and I can't wait to have another one!

All in all, I recommend this documentary to women, especially those waiting to experience their first birth. The message is great, and I feel it is right up there with The Business of Being Born as far as being a great education tool. I found it on Amazon for $2. It was a 7 day rental, and money well spent! Go give it a watch, don't let the title hinder you and keep an open mind! You won't regret it.

Mom Shaming at its Finest

Today, I saw something really sickening on one of the online mom groups I'm in. It is on my mind, and I can't shake it off my mind, so I figured I'd write about it.

I'm sitting on my computer, minding my own business, when this post comes up on my news feed...

"I know everyone does everything differently and follows different "guidelines" and that you're supposed to follow your child's lead but how can you argue with science?
My friend is literally shovelling rice cereal down her babies throat. She even posted a video saying "how can people argue he isn't ready for solids? I can't even scoop it fast enough ". He's 4 months and I've shown her plenty of research about open gut and everything else. Yes he takes a lot of bottles but he's the size of my 7m old who also eats frequently and there's a growth spurt around that time too.

Someone else even commented saying that they're going to give their baby solids before 6m because "what's the harm".
Why are people wanting to rush their babies to be more grown up??? Enjoy while they're little because it won't last forever"

Ok...so maybe some people don't see anything wrong with this. But then a few minutes later, this mom commented on her own post and went on to say how she knows this mom feels guilty about her choices because of things she has said to her. She then posted another comment with a screen shotted post of their conversation, where she was basically "schooling" this other mom, who is supposedly a good friend of hers. 

Now, those who know me, know I'm super against the practice of rice cereal, or of introducing solids before 6 months. The research I have done has indicated that this isn't something I want to do for my children. However, when I saw this on my facebook page, I felt super bad for this other mom. This mom, who thinks she has a friend in this girl, and unbeknownst to her, this girl is going behind her back in mom groups (mom groups, mind you, that revolve around supporting ALL parenting decisions) and completely judging and ripping her apart as a mother.

My question for mom-shamers who do this is...How on earth does this benefit you? How does this benefit anyone? WHY in your mind can you even think this is okay???

Sometimes, I really feel mommy-wars are blown out of proportion. I feel that some parents feel threatened by other parents talking about parenting differently...and add in postpartum hormones, you've got yourself a cocktail for disaster. But when I see someone blatantly attacking another person like this, it just makes me feel that maybe I have been lucky to not see the ugly side of it all.

I feel it is totally okay to post articles about what parenting choices you have made. It is okay to talk about what you're doing. It is even okay to give advice, IF that advice has been asked for, or explain your situation further if a mom inquires. But the minute you get this holier-than-thou attitude, it's a complete turn off. No mom wants to be around that...even if what you are doing IS supported by science.

I think being that we are all human, judgement is only natural. But it really crosses a line when it gets posted to groups for other moms to agree with you and for you to feel some sort of satisfaction having proved yourself a better mom than your friend Betty.

Motherhood is really hard...some days, it feels like a struggle for my son and I to survive and get to the next day. That said, I want everyone to know that while I'm a huge advocate for the parenting choices I've made, and while I do like to expose evidence about them, I don't think you're a bad parent if you chose differently. I'm about to get human on you all...

I gave birth without an epidural...but I have seen women have wonderful, gentle births with them where they feel more comfortable.

I breastfed my son to 22 months...but some of the strongest warriors I know are those moms who woke up every hour, through the night to pump only to realize they only produced enough to satisfy their baby for half of one feeding, and had to ultimately switch to formula. You can never be 100% sure of someone else's body, history, mental well being, or determination unless you ARE in fact them.

I believe in baby led weaning, and waiting until 6 months to introduce solids...but I don't believe you're poisoning your child if you choose otherwise.

I never once let my son cry it out...but I remember nights where I sat up crying silently as I held my son, who was waking every 90 minutes, wishing I could somehow find it in me to do it, knowing I was trading a huge piece of my mental health and realizing why other moms did practice this.

I vaccinate on an alternative schedule...but I have friends who vaccinate according to the schedule, and I have friends who don't vaccinate at all. I'm comfortable with my son playing with any and all of their kids, and respect their decisions.

I tried to baby wear my son...he was miserable. I see pictures of my mom friends wearing their babies and wishing mine would let me do that...but he wasn't that type of baby. Every baby is different.

What am I trying to say through all this? I'm trying to say that every baby and every mom is different. Different things work for different people. Different circumstances arise that cause a need for change and adjustment. We are all doing the best we can with what we know.

Will I keep researching, blogging and exposing evidence based truths? You bet! It's my passion and it is what has made the journey of pregnancy, birth and parenting such a passionate one for me. But don't for a second think I do it to tell anyone how good of a parent they are. In my opinion, if you think you're a good parent, then that's half the battle. If you feel you've done the best for your children that you possibly can, then that's great. Why would you need any more validation than that?

Bottom line, if anyone ever feels the need to scrutinize someone like the mom whose post I saw today did, then please, will you write a book? If your parenting is so flawless, and you know exactly what to do to yield that perfect child, please educate the rest of us...because I'm sure there are many other moms behind me who are wondering what is the 100% right way to parent so that our kid turns out to be the the best they can be. No one has all the answers...even you, Mom-shamer.

What's in a Birth Plan...

This is a post I have really wanted to write for moms (especially first time moms) who are planning to give birth in the hospital. A birth plan is a huge asset and a great way to communicate your wishes between you and your medical team. We all have wishes and desires for how we want things to go, and the best birth plans I have seen are ones that are well researched. When I was a first time mom writing my birth plan, I often saw things on other peoples' birth plans and said "I don't even know what that is...so it doesn't matter to me." After researching, I realized I had a definite opinion. I'm hoping I can give moms some pointers of things they may want to research, and things to definitely include in their birth plans.

It is important to remember that no matter how much you love your doctor, they seem to understand you or you believe you can advocate for yourself, that can all change in the blink of an eye. Labor is intense, and doctors who believe you are a risk (when you may not be) can be intense as well. I have witnessed first hand the scare tactics that can be used on a mother that they seemingly assume is uneducated. You cannot assume that just because you are in a baby friendly hospital, or you are assured everything will go fine, that it indeed will. This is where a birth plan comes in handy. Get it all in writing! Know what you stand for, and be able to explain yourself.

First off...I wanted to offer some basic pointers when writing your birth plan.

• Keep it short and sweet. Longer birth plan = more skimming done by doctors.
• Accept that it is a plan, and don't bond too much with it. 
• Bring MULTIPLE copies to the hospital (and tape to put it up on the door/wall)
• Go over your birth plan around 34 weeks to make sure it is agreed upon with your provider.
• Make sure your husband/doula knows your wishes and is willing to stick up for you.
• Be assertive with your wording in your plan..."I am planning" rather than "If it is ok"
• Make it personal...don't copy and paste or use a template. 
• Ask friends to read their birth plans to get ideas. 

I also decided, before writing this post, to ask some moms on social media what they wished they could do differently... I noticed a pattern of two most common things they wish they had been more assertive about. They were:

• Seeking and demanding more breastfeeding support (even if all was seemingly well)
• Wishing they had researched more about induction and what is necessary vs. not 

So now, given all that, I'd like to light some fires in the minds of the moms-to-be out there writing birth plans. I don't want to sway anyone in any direction, but simply give some questions to research and things to consider. I encourage you to research and consider ALL of these. You don't want to have to defend yourself on any of this during labor. A lot of this may be too much to include in a birth plan without making it lengthy, but be sure whatever you don't include, you have someone to advocate for you and know your wishes.

The Who

• Who do you want to be in the room with you when you give birth? 
• Do you have a doula? (Mention her name.) 
• Do you have a crazy mother in law who is not welcome? 
• Do you want minimal staff or are you okay with students? 
• Does your husband have specific needs? Is he a fainter? 
• Do you want medical staff to talk to hubby or your doula before they talk to you? 
• Anyone else who will be there? (massage therapist/acupuncturist/photographer/etc)

The What

• Are you planning a certain kind of birth? (ie hypnobirthing/bradley)
• Does your hospital have a tub? Shower? Do you want the option to use it?
• Do they have birthing balls, peanut balls, birth stools, rocking chairs, etc? 
• Do you want to request a birth/squatting bar?
• Are you planning to have your own music? (find out if they have cd/dvd players)
• Do you think essential oils may help you? (You will need to bring your own, and this isn't necessarily something to include in your birth plan, but good to know: there are oils that can relax you, speed labor and even help pain)
• Do you prefer a dimly lit environment? (known to help labor progress)

Admission

• Do you want the option to walk/go home if you are not far dilated?
• Do you want an IV with constant fluids or a hep lock for emergencies only?
• If you are GBS positive, do you want to constantly be attached to an IV? Or only when needed for antibiotics.
• Do you want to be attached to the monitors the whole time, or be free to move around after 20 minutes on the monitors?
• Do you want a wireless/waterproof monitor? (many hospitals are getting these)
• Do you want a catheter/enema or to toilet on your own? (note: epidural recipients receive a catheter)
• Do you want to wear the hospital gown or bring your own?
• Do you want to eat/drink? (Find out the hospital's policies on this)

Pain Relief

• Are you planning on an epidural? Hoping to not have an epidural? Completely against an epidural?
• If you get an epidural, would you like to have your position changed often and use a peanut ball? (find out if your hospital does this) Can the medical staff do table turns?
• Do you want pain relief offered to you or do you want to ask yourself?
• Are you comfortable rating your pain on a scale of 1-10 or will it hinder your focus?
• Do you want the discussion of pain to be avoided?
• Are you open to narcotic/IV medication?
• If you experience back labor, would you like to try saline shots? (find out if your hospital can do them)

Interventions

• If your labor stalls, would you like pitocin, or do you prefer to change positions, walk, try nipple stimulation, use other natural measures. (some hospitals offer acupuncture/reflexology)
• How do you feel about having your membranes ruptured? 
• Do you want to get your membranes stripped? (again happens early on so may not need to be included in the birth plan...but something to research) 
• If doctors offer you an episiotomy would you like to try perineal massage or position changes instead? Do you know what this is? Can you access a nurse to do perineal massage?
• In what situations are you okay with pitocin? (note: don't focus so much on when you are not in labor yet, as you can advocate and talk then)
• If doctors want to induce, have you considered trying a foley bulb first? Cervadil? Cytotech? Do you know the benefits/risks of these?

Birth

• Would you like to be told when to push, or push on your own? (research purple pushing) (also know if you have an epidural, pushing on your own may not be an option)
• Do you know the sex of your baby? Do you want the doctor to tell you? Do you want your husband to tell you? Do you want to look for yourself? 
• Do you want your husband to catch the baby? (Many hospitals will allow this, under the supervision of the OB/midwife, of course!) 

After Birth

• Do you want the cord cut immediately or would you like to delay this so the baby can get all the blood from the placenta?
• Is there someone who you want to cut the cord? 
• Would you like to have skin to skin time with baby (assuming he is not in distress) before the doctors poke around? How long? Do you want baby to stay skin to skin with you while assessment and testing is done?
• Do you want baby to have a bath? Do you want Daddy to do it? Would you prefer to leave the vernix on baby and not do a bath? (the benefits of vernix is a great topic to research!)
• Are you breastfeeding? Would you like immediate assistance with nursing? 
• Do you want eye gel? (Yes, this IS optional)
• Do you want vitamin K? (Note: there is an oral and injectible vitamin K...which does your hospital offer?)
• If breastfeeding, do you want to make sure your baby does not receive any pacifiers or bottles during your stay so as to avoid nipple confusion?
• If there is an emergency and baby needs to go to the NICU, who will go with baby and who will stay with you? (not necessary in the birth plan but good to know)
• If baby has to go to the NICU would you like access to a breast pump? 
• Do you want to see a lactation consultant? 
• If your baby is a boy, will you circumcise? (Note from personal experience: Regardless of how you feel, or if your partner is circumcised or not, I highly encourage parents to research this. Dr. Momma is a website that has lots of information. My husband and I disagreed on this, and I really thought I knew what I wanted to do with this, but after researching, I came to a different conclusion. This is your child's body, and circumcision is surgery, so please just be sure that whatever you do, you have evidence to support why you did or didn't do it.)
• Do you want your baby to have a Hepatitis B vaccine, normally administered at birth? Do you want to delay until a couple days later? Do you want to delay until a month?
• Do you want to take home your placenta? (Note: ask in advance about what kind of additional testing you will need in order for this to happen. Most hospitals require a Hep C test on file)

These are my big pointers I feel strongly about moms having a stance on. I again want to reiterate how important it is to research all of this, talk to friends, talk to your doctors and figure out what is best for you. You want to educate yourself and be confident talking about why you want the things you want, or else the medical staff advocating for you may not feel confident about doing so. There is seriously so much to think about during a birth, it can seem overwhelming, but I promise if you research all of this and know where you stand on these issues, it will be a lot easier.

I pray that those reading this and writing their birth plans have a great birth that goes exactly as planned, but please know if your birth plan doesn't hold up completely, it's okay. Mine did not, but I savored as much of it as I could. I still had a wonderful and very memorable birth, and I know as long as you are well researched, positive and remain flexible, you will as well. Happy Birth-Plan Writing!

[If you have any questions, feel free to comment or ask me privately. I would be happy to assist moms in finding the research they need.]

Adventures in Glucose Tolerance Testing

[Disclaimer: This blog entry is not in any way meant to give medical advice or replace the opinion of a doctor. If you are sparked by something I discuss in this blog, please do your own research and then discuss with your OB, midwife, etc. We all have different versions of what is right for us...here I am discussing my experiences and what I found was right for me. My opinions in no way, express what I think anyone else should do.]

It is pretty common knowledge that when a woman enters week 28 of her pregnancy, she has to take the glucose tolerance test. This test is a pre-screening for gestational diabetes. It is important to note that GDM can be very dangerous. It can cause high birth weight, make mom more likely to develop type 2 diabetes later on, still births, and obesity in baby. It is necessary to screen for this. A lot of people don't realize that diabetes is actually a really common thing to develop during pregnancy, because a pregnancy makes our bodies a little sweeter than normal anyway, and then in addition to this, the typical American woman loves to rush to the store claiming their baby is craving sundaes, chocolate cake, etc. While it's totally okay to have cravings, it is important to isolate true pregnancy cravings from just us wanting to eat something. Pregnancies do not make us crave McDonalds. Something is off there... If the baby needs a certain nutrient, we will crave it. For example, I have craved avocado and shrimp...both fats, and both make sense. When I crave something like root beer, it is an easy craving to dismiss because I know it is not something my baby needs. (But I have been craving root beer...and it has been tough! So those of you saying "Hey...I crave chocolate cake!" I get it...)

However, it is entirely possible for a woman with an impeccable diet to develop Gestational Diabetes, hence our need for the screening. In a typical hospital setting, this involves a one-hour tolerance test. A woman has to drink glucola, which I will talk more about later in this blog, and has a 5 minute time limit to consume it. (And yes they watch you...where's the trust??) After this, you must remain sitting in the lab for an hour, and then you will be called back to have your blood drawn. You cannot walk around, drink water, etc. If you throw up, you must come back another day and repeat.

If a woman fails her one-hour test, she will go on to take a three hour test, which is basically doing the one hour test three times, often times with a glucola that contains more sugar than the first. If you fail 2 out of 3 tests you are considered to have gestational diabetes and then go on to modify your diet and monitor yourself.

With my first pregnancy, I had the pleasure (sarcasm) of taking this test twice. I took it a 14 weeks because I was on a drug called metformin, which regulated my sugars and ultimately regulated my hormones so I could get pregnant. Though I wanted to come off of this, I was nervous I would need it, so I got to do a glucose test early. I remember chugging the nasty drink and being told if I threw it up I'd have to come back and do it again. Gross! I fought hard for an hour to not throw up, which was not easy given I had to just sit there in the office, with the food network on, where I was not allowed to drink any water. This test ended up going fine. So I came off the meds.

Then I had to take this test another time during my pregnancy at 28 weeks. This one was a little more tolerable, but still seemed so wrong to me. They ended up telling me because I was so close to the failing mark, to modify my diet anyway. This didn't sit right to me (why have a cutoff if you're going to treat people close to the cutoff like they failed and then not even do further testing?) so I refused...and I ended up having a 6 lb baby, we are both fine and super healthy. It was then that I began to question if the way we were going about testing for diabetes was the right way. I started to research.

Upon my research, I was actually completely shocked to find that this glucola drink contains all sorts of ingredients that are very questionable for me personally. Most ingredients are derived from corn, the most upsetting one being corn syrup. There was also yellow #5/#6, a dye banned in most of Europe, which is linked to hyperactivity, allergies and even cancer. The most frightening one to me however, was BVO, or brominated vegetable oil. This is a chemical you will find on a lot of your wood furniture and on clothing. It's main purpose is a fire retardant, but it is also used in soft drinks to prevent the different fluids from separating. Wait...what is wrong with that sentence I just wrote??

Even in the US, we are striving hard to get BVO out of our soft drinks. It absolutely makes me cringe that it is in something we are giving to pregnant women like it is no big deal! And to think if you fail the 1 hour test, you have to drink three of these, with higher sugar content, therefore higher amounts of these ingredients. These ingredients did not sit well with me, and I swore that the next time I was pregnant I would look more into my options.

For me, opting out of this test completely was just not an option. I am aware I have sugar issues given that I have PCOS, so I want to make sure my baby and I are safe and do not have gestational diabetes. But to drink something that contains ingredients that I do not consume in my regular diet, and then have to sit for an hour like a couch potato with no water or anything...just didn't make sense to me! I don't have a perfect diet and I definitely indulge in the occasional sundae, but after doing so, I always want to get up and walk! It's natural instinct. Why on earth would you ask me to do something completely against my lifestyle just to see if I have something that is further harmed by all the ingredients you are giving me?

I then decided to talk to my midwife, to see what she advised, as I finally have someone assisting me who I trust completely. She told me that she could do the glucose tolerance test on me in the comfort of my own home with a finger prick. She also informed me that she did NOT use glucola, and basically reiterated everything I already posted in this blog. She gave me three options: Odwalla juice, Naked juice, 28 jelly beans, or I had the option of eating a pancake breakfast with lots of syrup. All of these contained the same 50g of sugar that the glucola contains. I thought about my options...I really hate odwalla, and I actually don't regularly consume pancakes with syrup normally. (nor have I had jelly beans in like 10 years) So I figured my best option would be naked juice. Now, I don't usually drink naked juice either, and I know they have run into some controversy over their "natural flavors" ingredient. But let's all be real here...we all get some "natural flavors" here and there, and I knew it was the lesser of the evils.

So off to the store I went, where I bought my Red Machine, which was the brand of naked juice I was told has the same 50g of sugar as the glucola. I drank it down in just one minute, and it was delicious! My son kept asking me for some, so I actually had to finish chugging in the other room. Sorry, buddy!

An hour later, my midwives showed up to draw my blood. I laid down while my assistant midwife calmed me and apologized for the little prick I was about to feel. (Seriously, you don't get this kind of care just anywhere!) The prick was quick, and once enough blood was on the slide, they popped it in their little machine and out popped the number 134. My husband jumped out of his chair..."What does that mean?" My midwife said "It's normal." The cut-off is 145. She said nothing to me about modifying diet or anything and assured me this meant I was doing a great job. Yay!

I told my midwife how grateful I was that I didn't have to drink glucola, and she told me that even the naked juice I just drank is not something people should be consuming on a daily basis, but again is a much lesser evil to the glucola drink. Really juice is not a great thing to have in our regular diets as it contains a lot of sugar. I, of course knew this, but it is always great to have these things reiterated. We talked about how unnatural it is to just sit there after consuming so much sugar, and my assistant midwife talked about how she tells people often to pretend they left something in their car so they can walk around a little and get the chance to have some water. She expressed how when we don't normally consume these crazy ingredients, we are really just asking to have a reaction. So many women fail this one hour test and then three nasty glucola drinks later, are told that they are totally fine and all the additional testing was unnecessary. There just has to be a better way, and I think my midwives are spot on!

So for those who are reading this and thinking "A-ha!" I urge you, please have a conversation with your doctors or midwives. Do what is right for you, and come to a decision TOGETHER. I would never encourage anyone to fight their doctors or opt out completely...you just never know who is going to pop up positive. But perhaps ask about other options, and tell them of what you have read and your discomfort if that is how you feel. There are other options and other tests that can be done, but you need to figure out what is right together. And if you don't feel uncomfortable, then go for it and take the glucose test the way it is...I will not judge. We all have to do what is right for us. After the reaction I had to the glucola, I knew it wasn't right for me...but perhaps others react just fine and don't have any issues. I know a lot of these glucola ingredients are found in the regular American diet and many people are not alarmed by them. If you know you can tolerate them, then I say that's more knowledge and power for you. This blog is not meant to spark a mommy war, just passing along some information. Happy Glucose Tolerance Testing to all my fellow mamas out there, no matter which way you choose...and may the odds be ever in your favor!