The Plan

I have had a lot of people start to ask me about what kind of birth I'm envisioning this time. I've been really excited to share this with people, but was kind of hesitant to go too into detail about this pregnancy until now. I'm not really sure why...I guess I was feeling selfish. I was enjoying my little community and my little bubble of support. I have felt so uplifted by everyone, and even encouraged to share my journey. If I can help one person, I will consider it a success, so here goes...

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was absolutely terrified. We were not planning on having another baby for another year or so. (assuming I was going to struggle like I did the first time) I had never even thought about what I would want to do. When I saw that positive test, I grew scared and almost called up the same hospital I delivered my son at to immediately get on track and make appointments. I had to take a deep breath and remind myself that this was not the experience I wanted with this baby.

After my deep breath, I started researching. I came across an OBGYN and midwife practice that prided themselves on being more natural. I was really excited, and called them up to make my first appointment, which wouldn't be for another two weeks. I was excited to deliver at the Hospital on island that seems to respect peoples birthing choices and have had many friends who did deliver through this practice and had good experiences. (years ago)

Well, two weeks is a long time to wait. While I was waiting for my 6 week appointment I started researching birth centers (which there are none on this island) and home birth midwives. I came across a lot, but really just assumed they would never take me. I have thalassemia, a blood disorder that causes my hemoglobin to run low. I did a lot of googling and upon doing that, came across the same conclusion...that birthing at home probably wasn't an option. I really had my heart set on it though.

I looked through a bunch of home birth midwives. Energetically, I didn't connect to most of them. However, there was one that I really loved. I enjoyed her entire website. I enjoyed her views and how she respected and honored birth. I wanted her on my journey with me...my search was over. I figured again, she probably would not take me but I told my husband it could never hurt to ask. I emailed her asking if we could talk more.

The next night, I had a phone date with Selena. From the second we started talking on the phone I felt connected to her. She listened to my birth story about my first son and agreed with me largely that I was mistreated and had a good handle on things. I then had to convince her...I remember saying "I'd really like to have a home birth...but I just don't know if I'd be the right type of person to have one..." She immediately said "Why would you think that?"

I explained my blood disorder to her. What was fascinating to me was that she knew exactly what it was and said she'd had moms with the same disorder deliver with her at home! Most doctors don't even understand thalassemia. I was impressed. She told me about how we could build my blood up and all these natural things we could do. She empowered me in this phone conversation. She made me feel important and capable. I felt I'd found my match. I hung up the phone with Kyle and we made plans to interview her in person later that week.

When Selena showed up, I'd had a rough day. I was throwing up all day and had to work a shift at the clinic. I heard the doorbell ring, and upon opening it, she smiled at me, gave me a huge hug and said "Wow, you're so sick!" It was amazing to me that she could read my energy like that right away. She sat down and gave me these peppermint beadlets to suck on while we talked. She also started mothering me...telling me about how I needed to eat...giving me suggestions, recommending other supplements I could try. I felt so nurtured and important. I hadn't even hired her and she was already so caring. About 10 minutes later she asked me "How are you feeling?" I said "I feel so much better!" She said "Yeah I can tell...I'm going to leave some of those things with you." She was so sweet. I immediately knew I wanted to do this, and Kyle was on board too. Even our 2 year old son just loved her.

Now before everyone freaks out, there was more to the interview than just this. I asked her my million bajillion questions. I was largely freaked out about meconium and what would happen. She helped me to see that the last time when I had meconium it was largely due to stress. She also exaggerated that in any emergency, we would simply pick up and go to the hospital...and she would be right there with me. She is not one to mess around and lead people to believe she has a handle on a situation when she doesn't. But she also emphasizes that many women in this country who are labeled high risk are really not so much. (Like me!) We discussed my blood and she stressed that there are different variations of normal for everyone. She would like to see my hemoglobin at a 10, but we are working with it for now and managing it as best we can. She was just so inspirational, and so humbled and honored that we wanted her to be our midwife.

Since our first meeting, Selena has come over every 2 weeks to check on me and baby. These appointments happen at my house and are super casual. We talk about how I'm feeling physically and emotionally...she checks my blood pressure, urine, swelling (which I've had none), supplements, baby's heart beat, baby's position and the positioning and length of my fundus (uterus). She also brings her assistant midwife, Jaymie with her. Jaymie is a supper bubbly, positive ball of energy and I absolutely love having her around as well. In the event that Selena can't do appointments, Jaymie comes over and does them for her. They will both be with me when I give birth, whether it goes as planned or not. I have really enjoyed getting to know my birth team from 6 weeks on. There's a certain bonding that has happened that is just really nice...I have my village now, a community I can trust through this ordeal.

Now I know if you're reading this...you are probably bursting with questions. Let me answer the biggest ones for you.

What will you do in the event of an emergency?
If an emergency occurs where I have to go to the hospital, I have an amazing back up OB. I have been seeing her since 8 weeks on and she has worked with my midwife before. This OB will do all my labs and tests and she and Selena manage it together. It's called concurrent health care. In the event that I go to the hospital, Selena and her assistant Jaymie will come with me, but the OB will deliver me. In the event that something of urgency happens while I'm at home, I would just go to the nearest hospital with my midwife and her assistant.

This just seems so dangerous. There's just so much that can go wrong. Aren't you scared?
I think one misconception people have about home birth is that it's dangerous, when actually studies have shown it is one of the safer ways to go for a low risk woman. My midwife is equipped to deal with emergencies that happen at home. She has delivered breech babies that she didn't know were breech. She has had moms with meconium. She carries pitocin and oxygen on her. She knows how to resuscitate an infant in the event that baby isn't breathing when he/she comes out. The woman I am entrusting to deliver my baby is not a witch doctor, and has extensive education and training. I'm not scared because I trust her, and I feel safer at home while I don't have any risks that indicate me needing to be in the hospital.

Is that expensive? Did your insurance cover this?
Honestly, we paid about $4,000 out of pocket for this birth. My midwife has many different packages to accommodate all families and is great at working out payment plans. Our particular package comes with the entire birthing kit, and a birth tub so I have the option to birth in the water. She comes every two weeks, will be on call for the birth, responds to any questions I have immediately and also does postpartum care up to 6 weeks. I think I'm getting more than my money's worth. As my chiro said, "It's just money, Kimberly." My midwife recently informed me that tricare is starting to cover home births. Someone on island billed them for a home birth and got reimbursed. It's still in it's infancy, but it's a huge step in an awesome direction. We will most definitely try to bill them too and see if we have any luck.

If anyone has any other questions I'd be happy to answer...I'm really excited to open up about this whole experience and maybe show a lot of my friends and family something different. In the end though, this plan is not a one size fits all...it is what works best for me, and I encourage all my friends who are pregnant or planning to become pregnant to do what works best for them.

Excited to start this blogging journey!