I'm sorry I wasn't able to give this to my readers. I'm sorry that I didn't paint a picture of what homebirth is truly like. Yet, I do believe I have painted many other pictures. I've shown the unthinkable. I've shown a miracle. Most of all, I've shown the exact thing I wanted to show women when I decided to blog about my homebirth journey...that we can more often than not, trust our bodies.
Going through the journey I did made me realize how much fear there is in the medical world about childbirth. And going through what I did just makes me shake my head, laugh and question...why? Why is delivering breech so dangerous that the majority of OBs won't even consider attempting it? Why don't we trust moms and babies? Why in most cases, do we not want to sit back and let nature take its course? Why do we have to mess where mess isn't needed? Why is the slightest mishap in a pregnancy or birth labeled a risk? Why are we so obsessed with all these tests that are often just looking for problems that aren't really problems? I don't know...I haven't gotten answers to any of this.
What I did find though, was a horrid viral article going around saying that it is safer to give birth in Saudi Arabia than in the US. Why is this? Don't believe me? Give it a read...
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/women-dying-childbirth-u-s-saudi-arabia/
Now before those of you intervention-happy Americans get all upset with me and argue that it is not all black and white...maybe you should go back and read my birth story. I learned about the gray areas. I learned that if a mother feels deep down in her gut that she wants a c-section, even if we can't see the reasoning behind it, we let her do it. I trusted my body, and went the natural route, but if a woman feels differently and wants intervention...I think we should also grant it. The truth is, as much as we want pregnancy and birth to be peaceful and enjoyable...it can be scary too, especially when you don't fit this norm our country is obsessed with. But we need to understand where the trust lies...it is not in our OBs and it is not in our hospitals. It is in ourselves. We need to listen to our hearts and our heads first. No matter which side of the spectrum that guides you to, I would never judge after what I've been through.
Bottom line...we need to pick our care wisely. There are not many trustworthy options in this country when it comes to birth. We are led to believe in America our women just can't birth. We are led to believe we need all this stuff. We are led to believe one single issue can knock us completely off the spectrum of anything in our birth plans. We need to find the trust...we need to show our country that we deserve more than a snide comment of "At least you have a healthy baby." Of course we all want a healthy baby, and this statement just makes us feel even more guilty when we didn't get the birth we wanted.
We need to take back empowerment, and take back control. We need to be confident looking at a doctor and saying "No I don't want this procedure." And they need to look at us and say "Okay, this is why I feel it is necessary, but the decision is yours..." We cannot continue to be victims of birth rape. Yes, I said it. Don't believe it's true? Did you not hear about this story, of the woman, a sexual abuse survivor named Kelly who asked to try pushing first before an episiotomy and in the end having it forced upon her, being cut 12 times. What a horrid story...and why is our justice system currently failing and getting her any sort of peace?
http://www.humanrightsinchildbirth.org/kellys-story/
I always knew our country had a long way to go in empowering and respecting women where birth was involved, but after going through what I've been through, I realize how far. I also realize there ARE great care providers out there in every setting, whether women are more comfortable in the home or hospital. We need to give these people our support so the others will have to change their ways. All of this has inspired me, once my boys are a little older of course, to fight for our women. I'm not exactly sure what kind of comeback I will make in a career yet, but I know that I need to be near pregnant and birthing women. They all deserve the amazing support I had on this journey. We shouldn't have to pay out of pocket and go behind our insurance company's back to do that. We need to normalize. I am jumping on the band wagon.
And so, I have given this blog a new name, since my topics won't be about pregnancy and birth all the time. I'll be talking about adventures in child-rearing and maybe even throw in some military flair. I'm in love with my new life and all the experiences that led up to it. I feel so strong and empowered. I hope to inspire others to feel this way as well. I may not be able to blog a ton with how full my hands are, but I'll do my best, for sure. Here's to a new adventure...
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